Morning Thoughts as we Look Toward the Clinical Trial

Morning thoughts as we head into the week of the clinical trial. Sleep, giving your best, avoiding excuses and understanding you can't PR every day.

For those that don't watch videos (don't have the time or not a good time for it) I understand. I plan to continue to write as well. Curious if people like having some regular video thoughts and updates, or if that's better served just for the bigger stuff. Experimenting and trying to push myself to get in front of the camera a bit.

Some of the thoughts in this video. This morning was yet another tough one with sleep. Not just Daylight Saving Time schedule, just the norm for me in terms of having nighttime discomfort and sometimes pain that wakes me up frequently. Usually I can roll over to change my position and get back to sleep eventually. This morning, not so much. I've been up since 3 am after an hour of really, really trying to convince myself I could get back to sleep.

And even with that ready made excuse to just take it easy today, I still got up and went to spin class to get in some exercise. I can hear some of you shaking your heads and telling me to take a break darn it. You need it. And I appreciate that. It's true and sometimes I do admit and make that concession. But for me, most days I need to get up and get moving for the benefits mentally and physically that first of the day exercise does for me. I'll take a nap later to find that balance. Really, I'll try at least.

Knowing I was going already at a deficit I gave myself permission that my performance won't be my best. What counts is that I'll give it my best effort. Truly give what I can and accept that. That's hard for me with my natural self that wants to always compete against yesterday and do a little more. But read this once on a Rich Roll post reminding us all that we can't PR every day. We can't ALWAYS achieve more because progression isn't a straight line headed upwards without deviation. It's a squiggly line that rises and falls depending a myriad of factors.

Some days just showing up and making an effort is the win we need to celebrate. And despite really doing less than my average, it was pretty darn good even without considering the night I had. I'm happy with that. Doesn't make everything else perfect, but it makes me happy and feel better.

Heading into this week it's a busy one, with the huge milestone of flying to Phoenix Mayo to start the clinical trial. I'll get additional bloodwork and EKG which I need to work hard to not fail again (hello jumping jacks), then find out which drug the computer assigns me and get started.

Once again, I choose to live and we my family and collectively choose to live. We continue to have hope and make our best efforts in every opportunity we get. This is a big one and we hope for a good outcome in the short and long term.