When you’ve reached the point of exhaustion, you’ve just started

My good friend Heidi said this on Monday during spin class. In spin it’s a cycle of (pun intended) pushing yourself with speed or resistance, then actively recovering before you push again. This continual effort to push against our limits is what helps us build our capacity and grow.

I know most of my thoughts lately seem to come from spin class or yoga, but as I’ve explained before, that’s no surprise. This is when I actually find my times to think and ponder thoughts from the previous day, exploring them in more depth and allowing my mind to wander through whatever forks each new thought takes.

This morning was really, really tough. Already hitting my third spin class for the week on Thursday is a test in endurance for me. Not only in getting up early to make it to class, but the back to back hard cardio session pushes my abilities. Add on to that my natural inclination to always push a little harder even when I tell myself to take it easy and you have the recipe for a tank running dry.

That was today. At about 40 minutes in I was spent. Pushing a 24.3 mph pace according to the bike computer I finally had to back off a bit into active recovery mode. But I hate seeing those numbers drop. Do a little more. Go beyond. Those are my mantras. That’s what pushes me. So when I see numbers tick back I dig deeper and push back to make them climb. But some days, it’s just not in the cards. Or not in the muscles and lungs to be more precise.

Back to that open thought though. I find deeper meaning in the concept. When we reach that point of exhaustion is when the real building takes place. Everything up to that point is more about maintenance. To build ourselves physically we have to first break it down. In weight lifting muscle tissue actually tears, and growth takes place as those tears are healed and new tissue is developed. These “microtraumas” as some refer to them are part of the building process.

This has been very true in my cycling experience over the last couple of years. My growth in abilities comes when I push to new limits, and then a little further. Whether it’s pushing harder, faster, longer or further, it’s in this new territory that new abilities are realized and growth takes place. Of course its not a constant path upward. My growth trends more like a roller coaster with constant peaks and valleys, and plenty of plateaus that are a point of frustration when I’m trying to find new increase.

What a microcosm of life.

When we are pushed outside what is comfortable, even to the point of feeling at the limits of our capabilities, this is when we experience growth. During the greatest adversity is when we have to dig deep into the wells of physical, emotional and spiritual reserves to find what we need to get to the other side. Making the climb to new horizons, or climbing out of that deep chasm after a seemingly bottomless slide. And some challenges never seem to completely go away, like the boulder we shoulder up the never-ending hill. While we may never reach the peak, it’s in that effort we build ourselves the most.

Today I ended the spin class completely wiped out with my hear rate much higher than normal and fighting for breath. Sitting down to let the room settle along with my breathing, I took note of my numbers and effort over the past hour plus. It wasn’t quite as good as yesterday, but still above average and far beyond what I had set out to do when arriving that morning. There were several times in the last 20-25 minutes that I was ready to throw in the towel. A couple of years ago I probably would have done just that, figuring I’d made a good effort and that was enough. But now I realize more than ever it’s that extra effort where the real building takes place.

So when it’s hardest, that’s when I push back even harder. While we can’t always give more, and I know there will be a future where I’ll have less to give, for now while I can, I’ll keep digging deeper and give more. I need the growth and everything it gives me. And I say this time and again. If I can do it, you can too. And of course I’m not just talking about on a bike.