Transitioning to the Next Stage

No not the next stage of cancer. At least I sure hope not! I'm already a stage four, so we don't need to get any further along than that!

I'm talking about those stages in life that come along with change. Sometimes those changes are natural and just take place and over time, while others happen suddenly and from outside circumstances.

For the last six and a half years I've been fortunate to found and participate in the Utah County Studio Co-Op. It started as a way to get a large studio location together for a group of photographers that we couldn't normally afford or justify on our own. The original eight of us started what would be a great experiment and resource for so many in our area. We took a bare warehouse space and evolved it to a nice commercial studio space.

We've held many events for the photo community, and many of us have used the studio for our business and personal photo projects. While not a perfect space, it's been awesome to have available as a resource.

Sadly that chapter has come to a close. The warehouse unit where we had the studio was sold, and yesterday was our last day to move out. While we hope to find a new location, nothing in our budget, the layout and location most of us would like has been found. For now, the studio is closed.

It seems like several aspects of my life are undergoing significant changes lately. Mostly these are happening due to circumstances outside my immediate control. You might say things can start to feel out of my control.

And while I'm not all that excited about several of these changes, how I react to them is entirely in my control. I've always enjoyed the quote "We cannot choose our external circumstances, but we can always choose how we respond to them." (Epictetus)

So for now I'm without a studio location, but I will adapt. More location shoots. Small product shoots in my garage. Rent studio space when I have to. There's always a way even though it's not as nice as what I had before.

As with most transitions in life, I look forward to what new opportunities this may bring. While it may feel like added burden right now, who knows what the future holds. Maybe we find an even better space someday down the road. Maybe a new business opportunity will arise from some collaborative experience I have yet to embark on yet. Maybe not having a studio to run will be a good thing for reasons yet unknown. I really don't know, but something is next.

While thinking about this idea of hitting a stage or even setback in this aspect of my life, I thought about my friend Donny Osmond. If you are familiar with his career, there have been some significant ups and downs, with definite stages or periods of success with some hard work required to move from one to the other. Early success followed by years of quiet. The 80s hits then quiet. Then Joseph. Then the early 2000s I got to be a small part of another new phase with This Is The Moment, Breeze On By, and then later his successful Vegas show with Marie. I've always admired his hard work and singular focus on working through those in between periods to generate the success of his next stage.

I just read the book Dark Matter where the plot is based on the physics theory of multiverse. Where alternate versions of our universe exists simultaneously, branching at every decision we make. It made for an interesting storyline, and provokes the thought about how my path in life does branch in different directions from every choice made.

So while I have some remorse over this change, and I hope for something new to come along to replace it, I try to recognize that sometimes things just simply happen. Not for the best or worst, it's just another stage in life that comes along. I'll work hard to find the next stage.

As always, when I think through these things I try to apply it to the rest of my circumstances. Cancer is not necessarily happening to me for any specific reason. It's another outside influence on my life, or inside in this case but you know what I mean. How I react to it is my choice. My attitude, my emotions, and my actions are things I can control.

At least most of the time.

Some moments those can get the better of me still. But I shoot to be on top the majority of the time and count that as a win. Look for the positive. Do my part in my actions to better myself and be prepared for what's coming. To increase my capacity for what I need to do or to handle. Just keep moving forward with eyes wide open and my head on a swivel looking for what's next. Looking for the best opportunities I can seize and adventures on which I can embark.

And while I have little to no control on some possible outcomes, I can sure make the most of each day while I get there.

Cancer Update:

This last week I had my monthly checkup with the oncologist. My blood work looks good, meaning the numbers on my white blood cells, red blood cells, hematocrit and other areas they watch are in acceptable ranges. All lower than if I was not taking a hard treatment drug, but the numbers show my body is handling the treatment without significant damage that would raise alarms.

I attribute a portion of this to my other healthy efforts, and my doc agrees. That's where my #X4Ever mentality, commitment, attitude and actions are paying dividends. At least it's helping me handle the side effects better than most.

Next up, we've scheduled a CT scan for May 1 to take a peek at the tumor. See if there is a measurable change. Has it stopped growing, stayed the same, or (we hope) even shrunk. It may be a little early to look, but maybe not. So my hope (and anxiety) will spike a little in a couple of weeks. Let's hope for a good report of change in the right direction showing the treatment is working.

I choose to believe whether it shows significant change or very little that we're headed in the right direction. I have optimism. I have hope.